Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It's just FUCKING Westport-Right?


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Team of 12 Dwarfs

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I have a team of 12 dwarfs working for me to bring you everything you see on this blog.  Take these photos for example-photos not pictures, a picture can be a painting, or a piece of shit smeared across a canvas, a photo can only be a photo.

It starts with ME of course.  I take ALL of these photographs that you see before you.  YES, even the pictures of myself, were taken by ME. Long arms will get you far in life.

Even if I don't take the photograph, if it's on MY camera, it's MY photo.

I'm going to introduce you to my team of Dwarfs one by one, starting with Joshua.

I have an assistant named Joshua.  He's a tall skinny kid, with bad acne, but I would never tell him that because that would probably crush the little bit of self esteem he has left.  Joshua works for me, for 15 cents an image, he developes my film and prints me a 4x6 image complete with a CD.  Joshua also refills my camera with fresh film for me so I can start taking more photos as soon as I'm ready.

You can thank Joshua for the images you see before you, because surely they wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him.

Thanks Joshua,

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GQ Man of the Year

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"Where you goin' lookin' like GQ man of the year?" Homeless Woman, Park Ave, NYC (11/23/08)

"Nowhere"

"You look very nice tonight"

"Thank you"

But didn't you see?  I lost GQ man of the year.  That and peoples magazine sexiest man alive.  I lost to that guy from Mad Men (supposidly the best show on Television, GQ) and then that Aussie from X-Men (Peoples Magazine).  Two years in a row I got disqualified for being too dashing.  They said no more dashing men can receive Man of the Year or Sexiest Man Alive.  Oh well, there's always next year right?

If only all it took was good looks to make a poor man rich...I'd be RICH!

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It's only Fucking Westport

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Westport, CT.  It's not as good as you think or as bad.  It's just fucking Westport, right?

I take a lot of pictures of this place and people ask me.

"Hey, did you take that in London"

and I say, no, I took that down the street, or at my house and they'll be like, "Wow"

"When did you take that picture"

and I'll say,

"A couple days ago at Compo Beach"

"Watch Dog"  

They're shocked that I could capture such beauty at a place like Compo but let me tell you something, there's beauty all around you, open your eyes.  If you would just stop to pay attention you MIGHT see it.  So they say...

"Wow, that's beautiful"

ande I'll say...

"Relax it's just fucking Westport, right?"

Truthfully,

The/Pop/ul/ar/GURU

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